HAHAHA LOOK AT THIS GRATUITOUSLY CREEPY THING I JUST FOUND IN MY HOUSE

johndarnielle:

giraffepoliceforce:

Still pretty proud of my response to this.

I loved Marvel comics when I was a kid; I was a weird kid who didn’t get down with macho stuff, in part because of the general scene in my house & in part because I was scrawny and couldn’t really front like I was tough. In my tiny limited-to-my-personal-friends-and-surroundings comics scene, the idea that macho norm-enforcer types could be into comics would have come as a huge and deeply disappointing surprise; comics, in my mind, were for people who’d already begun to sense that, in the immortal words of Anti-Flag, “their system doesn’t work for you.”
I hope Marvel systematically “ruins” absolutely every one of their legacy characters forever, one after another, and then D.C. runs a Sgt. Rock miniseries where he renounces violence as a means of conflict resolution. May the grousing of the macho comics dudes ascend to Heaven forever and make an acceptable sacrifice unto Galactus

johndarnielle:

giraffepoliceforce:

Still pretty proud of my response to this.

I loved Marvel comics when I was a kid; I was a weird kid who didn’t get down with macho stuff, in part because of the general scene in my house & in part because I was scrawny and couldn’t really front like I was tough. In my tiny limited-to-my-personal-friends-and-surroundings comics scene, the idea that macho norm-enforcer types could be into comics would have come as a huge and deeply disappointing surprise; comics, in my mind, were for people who’d already begun to sense that, in the immortal words of Anti-Flag, “their system doesn’t work for you.”

I hope Marvel systematically “ruins” absolutely every one of their legacy characters forever, one after another, and then D.C. runs a Sgt. Rock miniseries where he renounces violence as a means of conflict resolution. May the grousing of the macho comics dudes ascend to Heaven forever and make an acceptable sacrifice unto Galactus

thehoneyinthelion:

white lace bridal lingerie is like the ultimate in ‘u tried so hard n got so far but in the end it meant nothing’ tbh

like nah ‘s just like a posh doily for yr bits try again pls

god damn it aisling you got linkin park stuck in my head

Toad Words


ursulavernon:

            Frogs fall out of my mouth when I talk. Toads, too.

            It used to be a problem.

            There was an incident when I was young and cross and fed up with parental expectations. My sister, who is the Good One, has gold fall from her lips, and since I could not be her, I had to go a different way.

            So I got frogs. It happens.

            “You’ll grow into it,” the fairy godmother said. “Some curses have cloth-of-gold linings.” She considered this, and her finger drifted to her lower lip, the way it did when she was forgetting things. “Mind you, some curses just grind you down and leave you broken. Some blessings do that too, though. Hmm. What was I saying?”

            I spent a lot of time not talking. I got a slate and wrote things down. It was hard at first, but I hated to drop the frogs in the middle of the road. They got hit by cars, or dried out, miles away from their damp little homes.

            Toads were easier. Toads are tough. After awhile, I learned to feel when a word was a toad and not a frog. I could roll the word around on my tongue and get the flavor before I spoke it. Toad words were drier. Desiccated is a toad word. So is crisp and crisis and obligation. So are elegant and matchstick.

            Frog words were a bit more varied. Murky. Purple. Swinging. Jazz.

I practiced in the field behind the house, speaking words over and over, sending small creatures hopping into the evening.  I learned to speak some words as either toads or frogs. It’s all in the delivery.

            Love is a frog word, if spoken earnestly, and a toad word if spoken sarcastically. Frogs are not good at sarcasm.

            Toads are masters of it.

            I learned one day that the amphibians are going extinct all over the world, that some of them are vanishing. You go to ponds that should be full of frogs and find them silent. There are a hundred things responsible—fungus and pesticides and acid rain.

            When I heard this, I cried “What!?” so loudly that an adult African bullfrog fell from my lips and I had to catch it. It weighed as much as a small cat. I took it to the pet store and spun them a lie in writing about my cousin going off to college and leaving the frog behind.

            I brooded about frogs for weeks after that, and then eventually, I decided to do something about it.

            I cannot fix the things that kill them. It would take an army of fairy godmothers, and mine retired long ago. Now she goes on long cruises and spreads her wings out across the deck chairs.

            But I can make more.

            I had to get a field guide at first. It was a long process. Say a word and catch it, check the field marks. Most words turn to bronze frogs if I am not paying attention.

            Poison arrow frogs make my lips go numb. I can only do a few of those a day. I go through a lot of chapstick.  

            It is a holding action I am fighting, nothing more. I go to vernal pools and whisper sonnets that turn into wood frogs. I say the words squeak and squill and spring peepers skitter away into the trees. They begin singing almost the moment they emerge.

            I read long legal documents to a growing audience of Fowler’s toads, who blink their goggling eyes up at me. (I wish I could do salamanders. I would read Clive Barker novels aloud and seed the streams with efts and hellbenders. I would fly to Mexico and read love poems in another language to restore the axolotl. Alas, it’s frogs and toads and nothing more. We make do.)

            The woods behind my house are full of singing. The neighbors either learn to love it or move away.

            My sister—the one who speaks gold and diamonds—funds my travels. She speaks less than I do, but for me and my amphibian friends, she will vomit rubies and sapphires. I am grateful.

            I am practicing reading modernist revolutionary poetry aloud. My accent is atrocious. Still, a day will come when the Panamanian golden frog will tumble from my lips, and I will catch it and hold it, and whatever word I spoke, I’ll say again and again, until I stand at the center of a sea of yellow skins, and make from my curse at last a cloth of gold.

Terri Windling posted recently about the old fairy tale of frogs falling from a girl’s lips, and I started thinking about what I’d do if that happened to me, and…well…

Using fairytale curses for conservation is the best story idea ever.

Sleeping Beauty should do it for reforestation! Or I bet those thorn bushes could really help stop the spread of the Sahara into the Sahel belt.

silvermender:

typette:

roachpatrol:

danythedragonqueen:

The official trailer for the New Zealand vampire comedy “What We Do in the Shadows, directed by Jemaine Clement & Taika Waititi, about three vampire flatmates coping with the modern world.

"Haha, ghost cup." 

I’M GOING TO WATCH THIS SO HARD. 

WE’RE WEREWOLVES NOT SWEARWOLVES

I LOST MY SHIT AT THE FLOATING HISS

Well this looks like fun!

(via kettlesound)

thefrogman:

iguanamouth:

WHERE are they getting this stuff !!

By Lauren [tumblr]

I love how well each dragon’s horde seems to suit them, too.

(Source: mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

corgisandboobs:

I just saw green egg yolks referred to as “harmless, but unpleasant”.

I am a green egg yolk.

More importantly though, I knew that bastard Sam-I-Am was untrustworthy.

wolvensnothere:

thepurposeofplaying:

alljustletters:

narcomanic:

narcomanic:

i’m pretty sure this twitter account is how sexting works in night vale

i mean really

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what is going on here

this is officially my new favourite thing

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thank you for sharing it with us

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SEXTS FROM THE VOID

(via thehoneyinthelion)

corgisandboobs:

insanecorgi:

rraaaarrl:

Rabbit vs Dachshund Puppy [x]

Watership Down

I am saddened that no one has pointed out that this is a wiener and a bun.